When you think of the great literary works…nah that doesn’t apply here. When you think of the great memoirs…nope this isn’t a memoir. Uh, how about when you think of a great rock memoir…I just said it’s not a memoir. When you think of the great training manuals of our time, “Bringing Metal to the Children” by Zakk Wylde will be at the top of that list.

“Bringing Metal to the Children” is part training manual, part stupid fucking stories that are so crazy that they couldn’t possibly be true…yet they are true. The truth of the matter is that the comedic stupidity of Zakk, his friends and colleagues makes for one entertaining read.

I don’t really want to give away too much, because even if you’re not a fan of Zakk’s, I think you might like this book. He has ridiculously hilarious stories featuring Lars Ulrich from Metallica, Rob Zombie, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Chris Jericho, the late Dimebag Darrell and so many more. My favorite story…actually I can’t tell you my favorite story, but it involved Lars and a couple glasses of piss.

At one point all the guys in the band stop off at this porn shop where Zakk buys a shit ton of dildos to use as a practical joke on his wife. Sometime after buying those, but still out on the road Zakk, being the Christian man that he is, decides they all need to go to Church, so they go to Church, with a bag full of dildo’s.

There is an entire section dedicated to shit, whether it’s not shitting on the bus, which a young lady